"When Will My Life Begin?"

Ahh yes. The opening song to "Tangled"-- which is probably my new favorite Disney movie. Why?

I feel A LOT like Rapunzel as of late--besides my long, golden hair. ;)

For those who haven't seen the movie, Rapunzel has been stuck in her tower her whole life, doing the same thing everyday and wonders when her life will ACTUALLY begin.

That is EXACTLY how I feel right now! I go to work everyday and do the same old things every day. But when am I REALLY going to start my life?

When am I going to be out in the world on my own? When am I going to meet the man I'm going to marry? More importantly, when am I going to figure out what I'm supposed to do with my life?

I know, I know. I've told most of you that I'm applying for grad school and everything. And I'm still planning on doing that.

But Disney is always in the back of my mind as an option.

I honestly feel like God has told me that I'll be happy doing either. But honestly, I would rather Him just say that one is completely wrong.

What if I get my teaching degree and love it, but always wonder, "What

if i had moved to Orlando?"

I just need to pick a direction and be happy with it and love it. It's like what they tell you in marriage. Love is a daily choice. You don't necessarily "like" the person every single day, but you still choose to love them once the gushy feelings are gone.

I

guess that can apply to job options, too, right?

I still gets tears in my eyes at any Disney commercial. It was a huge part of my life--even if it was only 5 months. It's where I did most of my growing up. It's where I could truly be myself all day, every day. Is that where I really belong? I know it wouldn't be the same as it was 5 years ago. The people aren't there. I might not even get to work in the same area, but would that matter?

Yet, I love kids--probably get along better with them than I do adults. ha

ha. I love art. I want to make a difference in someone's life. Is teaching where I belong?

I need to make my choice and leap out the tower like Rapunzel.

Of course, Rapunzel did have some help from Flynn Rider...

So Flynn, if you're out there, I'm waiting for you to come help me out. ;)

*please note: I do not own the images from Tangled. They are owned by the Walt Disney Company.*

Post-Holiday Stress Disorder.

Well. The holidays are over! and they've been over for most of the rest of the world for nearly a month. However, due to the holiday craziness, my family's tree just came down on Saturday. yes, Saturday. In our defense, we would've taken in down the week before, but that week wasn't the week the city picks up excess trash. This week was.

Speaking of the holidays, I survived. Obviously, or I wouldn't be writing this.

But what a holiday season it was!

Let's do this by who rolled in and when.

December 21-- Aunt Sandy and Uncle Bob from Maryland

December 23-- Granddaddy from Montgomery and Uncle Ken from Tennessee

December 24-- Andy, who now lives in Vestavia, and Katy from Birmingham.

So along with my parents, that made NINE of us in our THREE bedroom house. NINE in THREE. You do the math. Granted, Andy and Katy only stayed the nights of the 24th and 25th, but still.

Honestly, mom had been wondering for MONTHS--since, like, SUMMER, I kid you not-- where we were going to put everyone for Christmas. And since I'm sure you're wondering, too, let me break it down.

I got my room, and my parents got theirs. Lucky us. My granddad got Andy's old room, now the guest room. Aunt Sandy and Uncle Bob got what we all like to affectionately call the "lounge" and the sleeper sofa (they got the guest room when Granddaddy wasn't there). Uncle Ken got to sleep in the unfinished basement on my bed i'd used in my college apartment. Katy slept on the air mattress in my room. And Andy--bless him-- slept in his HAMMOCK in the basement. He preferred this to sleeping on an air mattress in the dining room or on my parents floor. It's not like we forced him to sleep down there.

You'd think with NINE people in the house we would have had a lot of drama. Surprisingly, we did not have much. But I won't speak of the drama here. Likely, you've already heard of it. ;)

The day after Christmas Mom and Aunt Sandy had the family reunion for their mother's side to plan so that consumed a lot of Christmas. Andy, Katy --and even Uncle Ken, my dad's brother-- and I rolled silverware for what felt like FOREVER. Yes, we ROLLED it. Because it wasn't enough to just stick in the cardboard box like all the other hosts do. That's how my mom and aunt roll.

I understand they wanted it to be special. This was our second year without my grandmother and the first family reunion that it was her turn to host, but she wasn't here to do.

For Uncle Ken, this was the first Christmas without his wife, my Aunt Gayle, but he fit right in with the other crazies and we embraced him and he embraced all of us.

We all jammed onto 1 and 1/3rd pews at church on Christmas Eve. I always loved going to the service when it was just 4 of us, but going with 8 other family members is even more meaningful, knowing that we all truly know the Reason for the season and that even those of us who are no longer here, we'll one day see again.

So Christmas was wild and crazy. And by December 31st, everyone had gone.

and it was quiet. too quiet.

I'm one of those people who doesn't react to changes in my routine. By the time I'd gotten used to the extra people in the house, they were gone. Then I had to get used the quiet. And it returning to just me and my parents in our three bedroom house.

I love the holiday season. I love having my family around. I love the traditions. Heck, let's be honest-- I LOVE getting off work.

But then it just all..... ends.

It happens every year. There's this HUGE buildup to Christmas, and then it's over a couple of weeks later.

And sometimes, it's like the happy feeling ends with it.

The time after Christmas is always a sad time for me. I think of my life and how it STILL isn't where I thought it would be. I'm STILL living at home. STILL single. STILL waiting for the perfect job. the perfect opportunity.

But it's a little ways into 2011, and the year isn't looking so peachy right now.

Maybe that has something to do with coming off the holiday season of happiness and joy. Maybe it's just me and that I still feel stuck and lost.

And I'm sick of feeling this way. Really, I am.

So. I'm going to turn this year around. I've got to.

UNhappily ever after

Sometimes the prince and princess don't live happily ever after--at least in the real world. And this breaks my heart--especially when it's someone who's close to me. It breaks my heart for her and her family as a piece of that family is breaking off.

I can't imagine giving such a huge piece of myself to someone and then have them turn around years later and say that they don't want me anymore. Or for someone to give such a huge piece of himself for me and for me to be the one to break it off. I don't have the heart to do that to someone and I certainly don't think my heart could stand it coming from someone else.

This is probably why I've always been single--God knows me better than anyone else and He knows that I couldn't take heartbreak. It would crush me.

Sure, I've had my share of crushes that haven't felt the same way back-- all of them. ha.

But that's nothing compared to having someone and then having them change their mind.

Does this make me glad to still be single? Surprisingly not. For every couple I know whose marriage has ended, I know at least one who has stayed together. My own parents just celebrated 35 years of marriage in July.

But I have come to having a new appreciation of being single-- I have yet to face true heartbreak. Maybe when my latest crush rejected me it felt like my heart was breaking--but I know that it wasn't.

This is the third time someone close to me has gone through this pain. But this is the first time I've been so involved.

And I know if the shoe were on the other foot she'd do the same for me.

Be strong, dear friend. God has a plan for you! There is always hope in Him.

"I would do it! I would kiss a hundred frogs if I could marry a prince and be a princess!"

*please note that the title of this post is said in an extreme southern belle accent*

Tonight my family and I had a little visitor. Here he is seen clinging to our kitchen window. My immediate thought was to run out and kiss the little guy to see if he was a prince--I mean, wouldn't you if he looked like a real-life Prince Naveen? (see 2nd pic) I totally would. And I know some other chicas who would join me. Of course, I guess it would have to be guaranteed that he was indeed a handsome prince before I'd lock lips with him.

Psh. Tiana had it easy. The frog talked to her. That alone to me would be a dead give away that he wasn't really a frog.

Sigh. Someday my prince will come--and hopefully he won't be green. ;)

*please also note that I do not own this ---->

image. It's owned by the Walt Disney Company. It is from one of my faves, The Princess and the Frog-- if you couldn't guess.*

"So You Went to School for Graphic Design, Right?"

So I graduated in May 2009 with a Studio Art degree in "Digital Media." However, all I can really do is Graphic Design and I edit my own pictures/videos in iMovie. I guess the powers that be in the College of Arts and Sciences at UA thought that calling the concentration "Digital Media" it would make me seem more versatile as a candidate for a job. Ha.

What it really means is that I spent two years in Basics: Drawing I & II, 2D Design, 3D Design, and YEARS in Art History, an elective along the way: Color Theory and then FINALLY-- my Graphic Design Courses: the Intro Course (sue me, i forget what it's official title is)--where my teacher gave us all A's because she lost her grade book, Typography (in Interim... 6 hours of class/5 days a week INTENSE), the actual Graphic Design class, and I took the portfolio class twice--to build up my portfolio. Not because I failed. Just wanted to make that clear.

Along the way, I came to learn that UA only teaches you about a 4th of what you need to know as a Graphic Designer. GREAT. but, I also learned, that most of my classmates had been using Macs and Photoshop since they were in the womb. I had not. So I had to self-teach myself during class. And after class in the creepy Mac Lab--until my parents gifted me with my MacBook Pro and the CS4 Premium Design Suite as an early grad gift. I rejoiced in no more hours spent late at night in the Mac Lab (Did I mention the Mac Lab was in one of the oldest buildings on campus? yeah. Woods Hall was totally a barracks in the CIvil War).

So here I sit, a year and a half after graduation and I do not have a graphic design job. I did have an internship last spring, which made me question if this was the field for me, but that could have simply been having to use Windows to operate Photoshop and the fact that the screen liked to black out at crucial moments.

Also, for two days, I had a design job for a local magazine (which shall remain nameless on here, but if you want to know so that you when you receive a copy of this magazine, you can burn it in honor of me), but the guy didn't really give me a fair chance. He was only going to pay me $100/month until they could expand and get more money. He sent me an e-mail saying they were going to look for someone with more experience. Good luck finding an "experienced" designer willing to work for $100/ month. So of course, I began to question if this was what i really wanted to do with my life.

But I have a job. where I do graphic design. And it can be fun. And the client I've been doing this latest project for really really likes it. I mean, he used an exclamation point in his e-mail. He NEVER does that! ha ha. And I should be glad and feel vindicated that I'm apparently a good graphic designer (take THAT Un-Named Magazine!!!). but I'm not finding much gladness and vindication-ness (yes, I did just make up a word.). Why?

Ok. and this sounds super greedy--and please know that I'm sooooo thankful to have a job and a job where the pay isn't that bad for what I actually do-- but it bugs me that I'm just getting my regular salary. I've put at least 38 hours and counting into this project and it just falls under my line of work at my job because I have the necessary skills.

I mean, a graphic designer around here on average makes a starting salary of $35,000. And they can charge royalty fees for how many times their design gets used.

But does this mean I'm going to get a bonus for doing this? nope. probably not. My boss is thinking of charging the client a fee for doing this, but I doubt I'll see any of that.

Is this so wrong? I mean, I know it'll help my portfolio, yada yada, but I'm sick of building and building and building my portfolio to see it not go anywhere.

Oh well. I guess Cinderella didn't get paid for scrubbing all those floors, did she? But she ended up much better off in the end.

Now... where's my fairy godmother? ;)

"...And they lived happily ever after...."

Yeah Right. OK. well. maybe some people have the "happily ever after," but i've yet to find it. Which is fine. All in due time, I understand that.

What I don't understand is: how my life ended up like it is now?

When I was a kid, I honestly thought that by the age of 25 I'd at least be married, with a fabulous job in whatever I was convinced I was going to be when i grew up. That changed year to year. ha ha ha.

But here I sit at 25, with a 30 hour/week desk job. And no, it's not anyone one of my "dream jobs". I live at home with my parents. and finally, no boyfriend. And not one in sight. ha ha.

But of course, there are tons of good things in my life. At work, I have awesome friends. Living at home, well, free food? no rent? yeah. that's good. being single? I don't answer to anybody.

So what is this blog about--besides me?

It's essentially about how my life is very different than I thought it would be. Because despite not having found happily ever after yet, I'm a total believer in it.

You see, I grew up on Disney movies, the Disney Channel. DISNEY. In fact, when was in my second year of college, I took an internship at Walt Disney World in Florida. and it was AWESOME. So being the Disney girl I am, I HAVE to believe that everything will work out.

So here I am, a Disney Princess, stuck in the real world.